You have two cows…

Traditional Capitalism

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

American Capitalism

You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

French Capitalism

You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot and block the roads because you want three cows.

Japanese Capitalism

You have two cows, You redesign them so they are 1/10 the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk. You then create a clever cow image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it wordwide.

Swiss Capitalism

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge owners for storing them.

Corporate Capitalism

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

Enron Venture Capitalism

You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank. He then executes a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by your CFO who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on six more.

Bureaucratism

You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

More here and here and here.

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